In life, things, people or lifestyle will choose to leave. Don’t try to force them to stay to keep your peace
If you don't believe that your parenting was flawed, your parents didn't demonstrate any flaws and you are perfect the way you are, then I wish I could be jealous of you but to be honest I feel sorry for you that you haven't faced the reality yet.
Anyway, my idea is to parent yourself first before you start parenting your future kids so that you can minimise the negatives that you would pass on. It is better to sharpen the knife before chopping stuff rather than dealing with a blunt one which won't only do the job poorly but also can injure you.
Build a core foundation of your life
I've decided that health is my utmost priority. It is a conscious decision keeping my future in mind where I simply want to be healthy. Being healthy gives you the freedom to enjoy physical activities along with your family even later in life. So, spending on gym membership, healthy good quality groceries or whey protein is something where I don't restrict myself to splurge on. Getting cooking equipement so that whole process is enjoyable, again, I don't restrict myself. And gym apparels, utility shoes like Nike Metcon, I don't restrict myself from buying, because going through the parenting process of myself I understand the need and utility of those things. This is one thing, regardless of how low or high my earnings get I won't shy away from. This is the backbone of my life.
Do something that gets your soul excited
I've incorporated guitar in my life and playing a musical instrument has been so good and soulful for me that it is an absolute game changer. I started with an electric guitar, and then I got a classical guitar. I love to play classical guitar as I love its sound but also it is more readily available to play, as I have to disassemble the whole setup of electric guitar after every session. It is kind of a one time purchase and I can enjoy it even when I have everything going against me. COVID lockdowns? Doesn't matter, I can learn and play on it, and spend hours on this soulful activity. It can be any form of art for you. And best part is you don't have to be great. Just keep learning and keep improving.
Not everyone need to have it but...
The leisure sport. I believe it is great to have a sport that you play. I chose golf as that was one which fit my lifestyle. I don't really have to be dependant on another person and I can enjoy myself if I want to, but also can also play along with someone if I desire. It is expensive but once you have learned to play it, well you have learned it, after that it's just the green fees and equipment cost, on which you can put a pause if you are going through difficult times. It gets you out of your mundane social circle of family and colleagues for atleast a handful of times a month.
You should let your desires unleash
Watches! I love watches I've been wearing them since I was a kid. Now I save like 2-3% of my income for a watch fund. Whatever spendings I've to do I do it from that fund. That saving percentage remains same no matter my income. That is something which is emotional, luxury and just something which I want to have rather than I need to have. This is where my materialistic desires lie. I know this will be controversial to say that instead of getting rid of your desires, I'm suggesting you to embrace them. Well, I want to talk more about it, but later.
That's it for this blog post and if you feel that you've something to add to this or you have a different perspective then share it and discuss it on r/StoicHuman or go to the Reddit discussion post for this blog post linked down below.
Stay healthy, Stay safe!
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