October 11, 2020

Idiot compassion is ruining your and your peers' life

You have been very compassionate and helpful towards others and they were really happy with you but are they still in misery? Well, you might be showing "idiot compassion" towards them.

Idiot compassion is ruining your and your peers' life

Today, the majority of social media users claim to be compassionate. But what is compassion?

Compassion is sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others.

Today, people do seem to be really compassionate all around the world but are they? They say that they care about the needy, feel the pain of the poor, want justice for every victim in every court case, and just because they are compassionate, they won't tell their friend that they were not qualified who just got rejected in a job interview because that friend was not prepared and instead try to comfort them by saying some sugar-coated words.

If a person is schizophrenic and says that they hear voices, is using the force and making them go through the treatment being uncompassionate?

I met Michael in a Boston subway station. I told him I liked his sign. “What matters is what it means to you,” he told me.

I asked what it meant to him. “Doing a deed or expressing kindness to another person without expecting anything in return,” Michael said.

I love approaching strangers wherever I go. Listening and talking to them teaches you about people and how similar we all are to one another. Just like Michael, we’re all seeking human kindness.

Idiot compassion

What the majority of self-proclaiming compassionate people try to do is that instead of actually caring for others and  showing a concern for their suffering, they would try to delay conflict. Delaying conflict is more of a priority for them than actually caring for anyone else. But why would they want to delay conflict? Well, they want the gratification for their "morality". They want to be on the moral high ground in their world of morality where no one is hurt, and no aggression is displayed even though using force to control and treat a schizophrenic person is in their best interest.

But compassion has turned into an absolutely different thing.

Compassion has morphed into a virtue that means that one is only concerned with being “morally right” in their own version of morality. It has no basis in actual concern for the subjects long-term well-being

Once upon a time

No, we are not going that far in the past. Haha! Anyway, I have observed quite a few families of friends and relatives in which I witnessed idiot compassion on basic and fundamental levels. It creates a fake safety around their kids that it holds them back from ever getting ready to face the real world. Real world doesn't care about your feelings. If you're not good at what you do you'll get rejected. But what if your peers comfort you so much and instil the belief in you that whatever profession you're in or maybe you have artistic instincts then you should just pursue that even if after years or decades of failures the real world market has been screaming at you to "leave it". Is that really compassion? Those peers were just trying to delay the conflicts. Now, the people who were bestowed with "idiot compassion" are now filled with resentment towards whole world and especially towards those who showed that fake compassion.

It was inevitable, universe will keep telling you the truth, initially it'll whisper but when it's time to punch in the face then it will. Once you witness the truth you'll resent those who couldn't tell you the truth early on, no matter how close the relations were.

In my profession a lot of people ask me where I am coming from. If I have time I explain them that I come originally from that place we call Spain, but that I don’t feel Spanish, I just feel a citizen of the world, a person, a human being… that I don’t see nationalities, I see people, and that the people that are trying to do “good” in this world they are my brothers, no matter where they are coming from. We are just a humanity, and any other category is limiting for starting to think about commonwealth and peace.  Ying yang, the unity.

You have to be courageous to be compassionate

I heard from someone that compassion is the ability to hold pain and love in your heart simultaneously and I have never heard a better, more intimate definition. Hence, compassion takes tremendous courage. It is an act of fearlessness and power. You can totally do it. All you have to do is allow your heart to break to the sorrow and beauty of this world. It is detrimental for the person whom you bestow with idiot compassion. Be courageous, be truthful, let them get hurt in the short term, they'll be forever grateful for it or maybe someone else will keep drowning them in the darkness of misery by being "compassionate" towards them so that they don't have to deal with conflicts.

That's it for this blog post and if you feel that you've something to add to this or you have a different perspective then share it and discuss it on r/StoicHuman or go to the Reddit discussion post for this blog post linked down below.

Stay healthy, Stay safe.

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[Discussion Post] Idiot compassion is ruining your and your peers' life from r/StoicHuman