You are not the only one who feels they are stuck in a constant loop of an anxious mind. I've figured out a solution. I'm sure it'll help you figure out your own.
Mindfulness is the biggest enemy to negativity in your life, and meditation would be the largest contributing factor to making you a happier and healthier person. I personally do it every day and I highly recommend you to incorporate it into your life. Even though many people have found that traditional meditation, i.e., sitting cross legged in Indian style, works for them it may not work for you and that's completely reasonable. You don't have to actually do it that way to meditate and you also don't have to do it for 40 minutes every single day or 20 or whatever. You can do it literally for one minute it's a whole another blogpost but look into it you can literally just do it at the desk it's just practicing mindfulness.
Now this is your practice of taking note of how you behave. Think back on when you're around people and the things that you do. Zoom out as if you're in an out of body experience looking at your life, how do you behave, and what do you talk about. This general observation of yourself is really going to fine tune quality of character that you have. You will find this kind of behavior in people who set really high goals and achieve them. It's an excellent quality to be able to zoom out as if you're somebody else and watching the movie of your life, and if you are starting to complain that mindfulness will kick in, and you'll recognize that "Oh man! I'm being negative. I'm complaining and I'm just being a weirdo right now." Catch it and bring yourself back and reel it up. Just back pedal on the whole conversation fix it. It's okay to recognize that you're just being a debbie downer. It's okay, it's better than just letting it be a complaint.
People aren't mind readers so if you're venting, and you're actually not complaining and you're just having a really tough time, you're really frustrated but you're okay with the situation, it's important to let the person know that that's what you're doing you're venting you're self-aware enough to be like, "No, this isn't a complaint i'm just super frustrated and I'm down you know. I know i'm venting here and I just gotta get it out." Slide it in there and just let the person know so that they can just listen and it's quite reasonable now.
Complaining lowers your value
One of the biggest negatives of complaining is it lowers your value and status as well as respect. Good example of this is, in the military you should always gripe up or to an equal. You don't gripe to a soldier you're in charge of and expect them to respect you more because you shared your woes of life. Yes, it may make you feel human but they're losing respect for you. They're not seeing you as the status symbol you're bringing yourself down and you never really know how other people are going to see you. So, it's generally considered a bad thing to gripe down so just don't do it if if you like the people and you respect them. You have to respect yourself and the relationship that you have.
That's it for this blog post and if you feel that you've something to add to this or you have a different perspective then share it and discuss it on r/StoicHuman or go to the Reddit discussion post for this blog post linked down below.
Stay healthy, Stay safe!
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