Desire is a tricky thing to understand. You need to think hard about the desires.
Whenever someone asks questions about your hobby, art or work, try to be as abstract and witty as possible. It should only be after certain type of questions you should be opening up with actual answers when they have proved their credibility for their curiosity. Let me explain.
People want to chat just to kill some time, but let me tell you one thing if you don't already know; conversations can be extremely exhausting. If it's a short one, you want it to be light hearted and humourous as it leaves a good impression because how you made them feel. You won't be able to add depth to a conversation in a short time, humour can make the other person to want to come and talk to you again for longer. If it is a longer conversation, make sure the person who is trying to take advice from you have proved the credibility that they will act on the advice, otherwise you are just wasting your time speaking to a dead wall.
I realised that people who have excelled to a certain extent try to publish their thoughts in one way communication medium like books or blogposts, where they don't have to repeat things again and again. And if the writer finds some intriguing thoughts of others in online comments or forums related to the published content, they can simply reply there, without having to talk about the story over and over.
But then there are those individuals who never thought about publishing their thoughts in such a medium, and they are around you with all the wealth of knowledge, but here's the catch, they won't bring their guards down and start answering your questions and try to have a conversation with you. They realise the value of their time, and also that most of the population is fickle. It is useless to advice a fickle person because they might ask some surface level questions while trying to gain something from your knowledge, but because of lack of serious curiosity, they won't be able to go deeper and they won't be able to utilise that knowledge, if they even try to do so.
More knowledge will knock at your door if you start utilizing the knowledge that you currently have and act upon it. I've witnessed it countless times at gym, golf, cooking, and at work. If I am dedicated and trying to progress towards my goal, the results start building a credibility around you. A lot of times, you don't even have to go to people to ask for help, they will come upto you and would want to share their knowledge. Everyone wants to change the world. Some people want to do it per person basis, some do it on large scale. The more learned you are the more you want to filter people who are serious about your activity.
And now that I've progressed a lot in some of my hobbies and work, I try to keep my mouth shut, and I've stopped giving advice to anyone and everyone, unless I see someone actually trying, and showing results regardless of how big they are. Most people won't act on your valuable advice because they might not value it.
That's it for this blog post and if you feel that you've something to add to this or you have a different perspective then share it and discuss it on r/StoicHuman or go to the Reddit discussion post for this blog post linked down below.
Stay healthy, Stay safe!
Journaling is your superpower. It's Free!
Follow our weekly podcast on Spotify called "Stoic Human Podcast". Also available on other platforms like Apple Podcast, Google Podcast, Overcast, and more. Just search "Stoic Human Podcast".